What you should do when your husband chooses his family over you



This scary and stressful situation is a reality for many married women.

In most families, sons are expected to be there and fulfil every need of their parents, even if it means prioritising them more than their wife.

And so, it remains a constant battle for a married woman to get her husband’s attention over the in-laws.

In account of this, we bring to you some useful pieces of advice you can take heed of when your husband choose his family over you.

1. Be specific about your ‘couple time’

Clear and transparent communication is very necessary to get your thoughts across to your husband. If your husband spends time with his parents straight after coming home from work, keeps chatting with them for hours and then heads off to sleep without spending time with you, then it’s a concern. Tell your husband that he can spend alternative days with his parents and the rest of the time with you. Mention the necessity of keeping a marital bond intact.

2. Have a balanced budget

Does your husband provide a large part of his income to his parents and family that leaves you and the kids struggling at the end of the month? If yes, then chalk out a balanced budget with your husband while voicing out your concern in a very subtle manner. Ask him to ensure that his parents don’t overspend a lot, the same way you maintain a strict budget.

3. Cut down on relative visits

It’s no surprise when relatives come knocking at your door any time of the week. It’s pretty adjustable once or twice a week, but when it becomes a frequent affair, it can be a burden on you. Your husband may even be pretty cheery when relatives come, but he can also be oblivious about you getting stressed attending to the entourage. In such instances, ask your husband to limit such visits to the weekend only or you can also attend to your own schedule without having to heart taunts about it.

4. Rationally solve out fights

Mothers-in-law are said to be pretty possessive about their sons and so, at times they cause unnecessary fights and arguments with their daughter-in-law. In such instances, the husband is also reduced to fighting against his wife, in favour of his mother. This can cause a lot of trust issues and distress in the marriage. Hence, the only solution here is to be firm about your stance and ask your husband to equally respond to both sides of the argument. If he continues to only support his mother, tell him that it’s going to be a huge problem in the upcoming future.

5. Start prioritising yourself and your family more

If you see that your husband is prioritising his family and spending time with them more, then you can also start doing the same. Start visiting your parents more often and spend more time with them, just as your husband does. Send an equal amount of money to your parents and start visiting your cousins more, just as your husband does. This way he should be able to understand his faults and then, in turn, you both can set some healthy boundaries in the marriage.

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