Past is past for a reason but when it comes to relationships, it has the potential to affect your present.
It is completely okay to have a sexual history (no judging!) but disclosing it to your partner may come with some unprecedented challenges.
In case you are thinking about sharing your past sex life with your partner, here are a few things you need to consider.
1. Your relationship
It is a wise idea to give your relationship some time and wait till you have developed a good understanding and compatibility with your partner. It would make it easier to initiate the ‘conversation’ with your partner and the already developed rapport may help to deal with this subject in a mature way.
2. The time, place and situation
It is really important that you talk about your past sex life at the right time, place and situation. For instance, if your relationship is already going through a rough patch, you would only complicate the matter by talking about your past. Also, make sure you have ample time in hand whenever you are planning to talk about it, and it is only a one-time discussion.
3. Partner’s attitude
Some people have a pragmatic attitude and can handle this information, but others could be sensitive and might end up overreacting. Hence, make sure you have a fair idea of your partner’s nature and how will they respond. If you think this discussion would make your partner feel stressed or jealous, it might be better to keep this information to yourself.
4. Think before you say
Beware! You need to be super careful with your choice of words, else this conversation can do more harm than good. Stick to sharing only the necessary information and don’t paint a rosy picture (what all you enjoyed, what was memorable and what you miss, etc). The idea is to stay transparent with your partner and not to make them insecure, right?
5. What about you?
If the conversation goes in the right direction, there is a high probability that your significant other will open up about his or her past sex life as well. Be willing and friendly enough to be all ears for their confessions and to not judge them. As long as you both share a beautiful relation in the present, past should not be a point of contention.
6. The upside
Divulging this information may not be a cakewalk for everyone but it has its own upside. A healthy conversation would help to build trust in your relationship and lay the foundation of mutual respect. Also, you will feel lighter because you won’t be hiding anything from your lover and happier because they still love you!
