Raising a child is one of the most rewarding but challenging experiences in life.


As parents, we often strive to provide our children with the best opportunities, love and care, but at times we tend to cross the fine line between providing for the child’s needs and indulging their desires to the point where they become spoiled.

Spoiling a child can have negative consequences for their development, behavior and future relationships.

What contributes to spoiled behaviour

Understanding what leads to a spoiled child is the first step in addressing the issue. Overindulging them with material possessions, excessive attention or always giving in to their demands can lead to spoiling. When children consistently get what they want without understanding the concept of limits and boundaries, they may develop a sense of entitlement. Further, inadequate discipline can create an environment where children don’t learn self-control and the importance of respecting rules and boundaries. Without these lessons, they may become demanding and resistant to authority. Even through social media children are exposed to a constant stream of images and stories that may promote materialism and entitlement. Peer pressure can also play a significant role in encouraging children to seek instant gratification and indulgence.

1. Frequent tantrums and outbursts

Spoiled children often exhibit frequent tantrums and outbursts when they don’t get their way. They may become angry, loud and uncooperative, making it challenging for parents to manage their behavior.

To undo it, parents themselves need to help the child understand and manage their emotions by teaching them healthier ways to express themselves. Encourage them to use words to communicate their feelings and provide them with tools for coping with frustration. Further, it is never too late to let your child know what is acceptable and what is not, and provide consequences for tantrums or outbursts.

2. Lack of gratitude

Spoiled children may take what they have for granted and show little or no gratitude for the efforts made by their parents or others to provide for them. Be it the last PlayStation or the iPad, they show no emotions or thankfulness for the material provided.

To undo it, make sure you encourage your child to express gratitude by modeling grateful behavior yourself. Explain the importance of appreciating what they have and acknowledging the efforts of others.
You can also try and reduce the frequency of material gifts and encourage non-material expressions of love and affection. Show them that love and happiness are not solely dependent on possessions.

3. Difficulty in socialising

Spoiled children often face challenges in forming and sustaining friendships because their entitlement and lack of practice in sharing and compromising make it difficult for them to relate to their peers. They may struggle to understand the concept of give-and-take in relationships, which can lead to conflicts and a lack of empathy. To undo it, focus on teaching communication and empathy. Encourage participation in group activities, model healthy relationships and limit material rewards.

4. Entitlement in all environments

Spoiled children often have a strong sense of entitlement. They believe they deserve special treatment, and they may demand it from both parents and others.

To undo it, teach your child to consider the feelings and needs of others. Empathy can help them understand that everyone’s needs and desires are important, not just their own. Also, establish boundaries and expectations regarding what your child is entitled to. Make it clear that privileges are earned through responsible behavior not disrespect and tantrums.

5. Material obsession over real experiences

Spoiled children may be overly focused on material possessions, valuing objects over experiences or relationships. To them, a new Apple watch is more important than a family trip or adventure.

To undo it, you need to make them understand that experiences and relationships are over material possessions. Spend quality time with your child, create memories and show them the value of meaningful connections. Plus, reducing screen time might help. Reduce exposure to materialistic messages and peer pressure by setting limits on screen time, especially social media and advertising.

6. Lack of independence/self-sufficient behaviour

Spoiled children may struggle with basic life skills and self-sufficiency because they are used to having everything done for them.

To undo it, it’s never too late to assign age-appropriate tasks that require your child to take responsibility for themselves. This can include chores, personal hygiene and schoolwork. And then slowly give your child the freedom to make choices within reasonable boundaries. This can help them develop a sense of independence and responsibility.