We have no control over who we love. This emotion comes in different forms and shapes and comes at a time when you expect it the least.

But being in love with an alcoholic can seem the messiest as it puts you in a tough spot.

When in love with such a person, you have no idea how to tend to your needs because you are left caring for your partner all the time.

The inability to feel free, responsible and cared for, can take a toll on your emotional and mental health.

Hence, here are some things you should always keep in mind about being in love with an alcoholic.

1. Feelings of guilt

Your partner will constantly make you feel guilty by calling you out on your habits that have ‘supposedly’ led them to drink so much. Know that a person’s addiction to alcohol is entirely a person’s doing and not someone else’s. Yes, there may be factors that have led to it, but don’t blame yourself for your partner’s medical condition.

2. Heaps of excuses

When dealing with an alcoholic, you will come across many excuses that point out your partner’s worst habits. Don’t make it a habit to cover up for them; in fact, don’t cover them up at all. Your partner may ask you to make excuses for them as they may feel tired, sick or are unable to attend a social gathering. By doing this, you’re not helping them but instead, you are leading them on with their alcoholic problem, even more.

3. Responsibilities

You cannot take responsibility for healing your partner’s addiction. Alcoholism is a medical problem that requires trained professional assistance for recovery. There might be serious problems that are beyond your control and capacity. You can just support your partner emotionally and mentally.

4. Facing problems

Let your partner face their demons by themselves. You may feel protective and caring but it’s their problem they have to deal with. Nobody can do that for them. And in instances of alcohol addiction, your partner has to take the steps to recovery by themselves. Don’t pressurise your partner into quitting it because this can backfire, causing bigger problems.

5. Accepting behaviour

Don’t put up with your partner’s negative or unacceptable behaviour because they need to know that it’s not alright if they are being extremely negative about everything. They shouldn’t blame their alcohol problem for their unacceptable mistakes of lying, cheating, gambling etc. They shouldn’t be dependable on their problems as an excuse for their behaviour.

It’s natural to feel pressurised and low when dealing with such a person. If you need help or therapy to deal with this situation, don’t be afraid to ask for help.