Sometimes, to have it all in life– be it at work or in our relationships– we end up putting in too much effort, which in turn exhausts us mentally and emotionally.
This type of toxic productivity stems from some people strongly believing that their worth– be it at work or in social circles– is dependent on how much they can offer to others and not receive or take anything in return.
This type of over-functioning is not only unhealthy but can also be detrimental to our well-being.
Over time, it can make one feel burnt out and not seen or heard by others. Here we list some signs to look out for if you are over-functioning and how it affects your relationships.
1. Taking charge of everything
While being responsible is a good trait, taking charge of every little thing and overdoing it can make one feel exhausted– at work and even in personal relationships. Remember, every relationship should be balanced when it comes to give and take. Feeling responsible for everything and everyone in your circle can drain you emotionally, and adversely affect your mental health. Instead, try to take a step back and practice self-care and self-love. Let others also put in some effort– be it in teamwork or friendships and other personal relationships.
2. Avoiding being vulnerable or stating your needs
If you constantly find yourself avoiding being vulnerable or stating your needs in relationships, then it is a big red flag. By avoiding uncomfortable conversations, you are not standing up for yourself and you might even settle for the bare minimum efforts put in by others. Over time, this can make you feel emotionally disconnected from others and unloved/ unappreciated. Remember, it is okay to voice your needs and concerns respectably.
3. Being a people-pleaser
Are you a people-pleaser? So much so that you always wish to say the right things because you feel responsible for other people’s emotions? Well, then this is a red flag sign you need to beware of. Why? Well, you can’t be held responsible for other people’s actions, emotions, or words. Constantly pleasing others (even when you don’t feel like it) or taking the responsibility of making them feel good regardless of your own emotional needs, would make you feel drained and exhausted.
4. Overthinking about others
Constantly thinking about other people’s needs and wishes and working upon them, while keeping your wishes and desires on the backbench is a sure-shot sign of not prioritising yourself. Remember, you too are important and prioritising yourself is a form of self-love and acceptance. Overtly thinking about others or giving too much in any relationship, would make you feel unheard, unappreciated, or unloved. It is important to note that the behaviour you accept teaches others how to treat you. So be genuine in your relationships, and do not hesitate to be your authentic self.
5. Neglecting yourself over others
If you always tend to give too much in any relationship, and not ask or receive anything in return– this would create an unhealthy imbalance in your bonds. While you might not say much or express your disappointment, over time this could lead you to feel neglected or unloved. Remember, it is okay to ask what you need and express your expectations in any relationship. You too are important; speaking up for yourself is a form of self-love.
