According to psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., there is a phrase that destroys your relationship, and this can apply to romantics, friendships, or even work relationships.
Writing for Psychology Today , Bernstein confirms that, just as there are actions or habits that can trigger negative consequences and affect relationships, there are also phrases that can cause problems, and not only do you have to avoid saying them, you also need a change of mindset and attitude so that these are not your main resources.
Harvard University had already said before that there are phrases that can cause resentment, distance or even deep wounds that are difficult to heal, but Bernstein says that there is one phrase that is especially harmful, and the problem is that at first glance it seems innocent, or even positive.
The problem with the phrase in question, according to the expert, is that it can destroy trust in all types of relationships, and the lack of trust is a serious problem that can destroy them.
The worst phrase that destroys your relationship, according to psychology
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”
According to what Bernstein explains, the problem of using and repeating this phrase manifests itself in 3 ways that are destructive to relationships.
False tranquility or false hopes
Saying this phrase may seem like some kind of comfort or an attempt to avoid worry, but it can actually cause people to have false hope and believe that things are easier to solve than they really are.
When the problem persists or is not easily resolved, this becomes a false “consolation”, generates frustration and causes others to gradually lose trust.
In addition, it can also be an indicator that you do not measure problems well or that you give them less importance than they deserve.
Lack of responsibility
Bernstein says this isn’t just an empty promise, it can also be a point that prevents you from taking responsibility for things, from acknowledging what you did wrong and the level of damage you caused.
It makes it seem like you are downplaying it and prevents you from accepting your role in conflicts, arguments or problems, or it can even be a means to avoid important discussions and focus on finding a good solution, saying this is an “empty solution.”
Dealing with a person who never accepts responsibility can be draining in all types of relationships, and can make the other person want to walk away.
Communication problems
Because this phrase is a way of procrastinating and downplaying things, this can also start to cause communication problems, especially when one person wants to have a discussion about the situation, and the other won’t stop, saying “don’t worry, we will solve it”, instead of being open to listening, proposing and understanding.
Bernstein says this can cause frustration and even lead people to believe that they are not on the same page and that they will not be able to reach an agreement.
What is there to do?
It’s not that you can’t say this phrase ever again in your life, but you need to make sure it’s not an empty promise or a strategy to avoid important, difficult or uncomfortable conversations.
It is important to listen, validate what the other person is saying or feeling at that moment, and seek a joint solution, especially if you want to maintain that relationship.
