Breakups are a fact of life. One day you’re lost in love’s embrace, the next you’re facing a growing pile of issues that lead to the end of the relationship.
But what happens when that ending doesn’t mean a clean break?
Maybe you work together, share a church community, or even live in the same neighborhood. Bumping into your ex every day can make moving on incredibly difficult.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Acknowledge the loss
There’s a reason why it is said that the first step in mourning is acceptance. You have to come to terms with the fact that the relationship has reached its logical conclusion. It’s over and done and cannot be resurrected. Don’t hold on to any hope.
2. Master detachment
To move on, you have to be detached from your ex and whatever happened in the past. Hilary Jacob Hendel said, “Detachment means that I will not burden another with my expectations of what I want them to be, but that I will accept them for the human beings they are. Detachment means I will not place myself in the middle, trying to arrange the outcome for others, but that I will allow others to affect their own destiny.”
3. Minimise interactions and maintain boundaries
Avoid communicating with your ex physically or emotionally. If you want to move on from your ex, you shouldn’t be interacting with them constantly. You shouldn’t be calling, visiting, or even texting them; you need that space and distance, so avoid them.
4. Lean on support from friends, family, or therapy
Whether the breakup was brutal or mutual, you need to work through the issues. Relationships can teach us so much about ourselves. We can learn our faults or learn wisdom about how to navigate situations. It’s just a whole wealth of experience you need to work through, either with family or friends.
5. Go on vacation or leave the same location
If it’s possible to change jobs, church, or even neighbours for a while, then by all means do it. However, if it’s not possible, then see if you can take a little break from seeing them by going on a vacation.
