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10 signs your friend is secretly competing with you

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A little bit of friendly competition can be healthy for any relationship. However, there are some individuals who engage in longstanding rivalries with people they call their friends.


These competitions are often one-sided, secretive and fueled by both jealous and insecurity.

It’s impossible for these types of friendships to be sincere because one party is always secretly wishing for the other’s downfall.

If you suspect that one of your friends is secretly competing with you, continue reading for 10 telltale signs.

1. They seem to delight in your misfortune

If you suspect that your homegirl sees you as a competitor as opposed to a friend, begin paying attention to how she reacts when you share bad news. If you notice that she seems to perk up when you share bad news, it’s a telltale sign that she’s against you, not with you.

2. They copy your every move

Imitation may be the highest form of flattery, but a friend who is in competition with you has ulterior motives. She didn’t go out to purchase a designer bag that is identical to yours to flatter you, sis is trying to keep up.

3. They don’t celebrate your victories

In the same vein, a frenemy who views you as her competition will always have an excuse as to why she’s unavailable to help you celebrate your wins.

4. They downplay your accomplishments

In addition to being absent from celebratory occasions, a secret competitor will always try to downplay your accomplishments on the low. Sometimes it’s the fact that she could never. Other times, she’s afraid you might surpass her. All of the time, it’s because she’s a high-key hater.

5. They try to one-up you

There are some people who try to outshine you in everything. If you share that you jogged one mile today, they have to chime in and share that they jogged two. This type of person is incapable of being a friend and you should avoid them at all costs.

6. They brag in your presence

Only insecure people compete with their friends and a sure sign that someone has low self-esteem is they feel the need to be boastful in your presence.

7. They try to keep tabs on you

It’s impossible to compete if you have no idea what the competition is up to. A person who is in competition with you will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to find out what you’re up to and what your next move will be.

8. They attempt to sabotage your success

Have you noticed that your girl is often doing silly things in an attempt to sabotage your progress in a particular area? It may not be blatant and she will likely try to convince you that her actions are harmless. However, something in your gut tells you that more sinister motives are at work. Sabotage can look as simple as bringing a dozen donuts by your home when she knows that you’re dieting or as big as “accidentally” revealing sensitive information about your personal life to your professional contacts.

9. They dwell on the negative aspects of your life

Is your friend constantly reminding you of what’s wrong in your life? Does it seem like she only wants to talk about the negate parts and glosses over the good things? It’s likely because your setbacks and obstacles make her feel good about herself.

10. They try to discredit you in front of other people

Has word ever come back to you that she was speaking poorly of you in the presence of others? It’s because she’s secretly competing with you and by making you look bad in front of other people, she believes that she’s making herself look better.

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