If you’ve been together long enough, there’s a good chance that you and your partner will find yourself in a rut – and that’s totally normal!
Relationships can only go so long before they hit temporary roadblocks, ruts, or some sort of event that makes each person wonder WTF they’re doing.
But the trick, when these things hit a relationship, is to work through them instead of giving up.
The first way to do that is to recognize the problem in the first place. Here are 8 signs you’re stuck in a
relationship rut.
1. You don’t know the last time you went out together
Sure, you may hit up the Home Depot every Saturday and you went to the grocery store last night together, but when was the last time you went out on a proper date? Has it been months, years, during the Bush administration? If you can’t remember when, then remedy that right now and make a date for this weekend. I hear everyone loves dinner and a movie.
2. Sex feels like it’s on autopilot
You have sex once a week; right before bed, in the dark, in the same position, and you each say the same “ooh” and “ahh,” then you go to bed. Sound familiar? Yep; you’re in a rut.
3. You argue about the same mundane things
As Albert Einstein said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Or, in this case, a
relationship rut. You can continue to argue about the same stupid stuff, but at some point you need to give up on the fact that it will change anything.
4. Your idea of romance is your partner not using the last of the TP
Awww! Your partner didn’t leave you stuck on the toilet sans toilet paper! How sweet! But seriously; that is not romance. Get the romance back in your life.
5. You find yourself bored with whatever they say
Sometimes people are boring; even the ones you love. But if your partner bores you incessantly and you can’t really pinpoint why, it’s very likely you’re in a rut. It’s not that they’ve suddenly become boring; it’s that you’ve both sort of given up a bit.
6. Other people are starting to look attractive to you
Finding people besides your partner attractive is totally normally! Even people who are head over heels in love can sometimes find themselves attracted to other people, because, well, it’s human. But if the attraction for others persist and seems to be for everything with a pulse EXCEPT your partner, then that’s a sign worth noting.
7. You feel nothing when you say ‘I love you’
Sometimes you say something so often that you lose the sensation that should come with saying those words – and again, it happens and it’s normal. But the key is to get back to that place, out of that rut, where saying the words has an effect on you again. For example, maybe stop saying it for awhile, so you can learn to feel the words again.
8. You feel luke warm about your partner
If your feelings for your partner make you shrug and say, “Meh,” then this is another sign that you’re in a rut. You just need to make the effort to find in them all the things you saw back when your relationship was new.
