Quitting something cold turkey disrupts our perfect world, and because our perfect world includes our lovely ex-partners, we take the abrupt end very hard.
Every day without contact wreaks havoc on our psyche. We become anxious and concerned about the ex-moving on and no longer wanting or needing us.
Those who are fortunate enough to have exes contact them during their ‘No Contact’ period must decide whether or not to respond.
Whatever the circumstances, the basic truth is that ‘No Contact’ always begins as a struggle.
Here are 3 ways to survive the ‘no contact’ stage after break up.
1. Have a breakup buddy
It can be beneficial to have a friend who is going through a similar experience or simply a friend to whom you can be accountable. This is someone with whom you can make a pact not to contact your ex, devise consequences if one of you does, or simply support each other during this difficult time. Having someone else to hold you accountable in addition to yourself can help you stick to your no-contact plan.
2. Change your surroundings
Sometimes all it takes to feel better after a breakup is to change your surroundings. A simple change in environment can mean the difference between remaining attached to your ex and completely detaching. When you put yourself in a new environment, you’re able to form new thoughts. The goal of changing your environment right after a breakup is to keep you from walking around feeling sad that ‘this is the end.’ When you change your surroundings, you gain excitement for your “new beginning.”
3. Give yourself room to grieve
Even when it is the right thing to do, the end of a relationship is a loss. When a relationship ends, we go through the same stages of grief and loss as when someone dies. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are the stages. We don’t necessarily go through them in any particular order, and we don’t graduate from one before moving on to the next without looking back. It is possible to switch between two emotional states, such as sadness and anger. Allow yourself to grieve and express your emotions without involving your ex.
The no contact rule was not enacted to make you hate your life, and it is never intended to make you feel bad about your ex’s lack of interest in you. It exists to remind you that no matter how you feel about the breakup, you are the only one who can begin the process of becoming whole again. Others can assist you along the way, and your ex can take you back, but it is ultimately up to you to ensure your survival.
