Whoever said “a relationship without trust is like a car without gas—you can stay in it, but it won’t go anywhere” knew a few things about relationship dynamics.
It’s not always enough to feel love or attraction. If you love someone but don’t trust them, what you feel is dead on arrival and the relationship will fail.
These are the types of trust you need in order to build a lasting and healthy relationship.
1. Trust that you’ll stay faithful to each other
This is not usually the first place to start building trust. However, if you and your partner are in a monogamous relationship, this is incredibly relevant. You can learn to trust him by watching his actions rather than just listening to his words. His behavior should be proof that he’s only interested in you. Once trust has been established, you’ll be less inclined to monitor your partner’s every move and him yours. You can give each other space to pursue other interests and maintain your individuality.
2. Trust that you’re physically safe
Both partners in a relationship should be able to trust each other with their lives. No one should feel physically intimidated or threatened that one will bring harm to the other. If you worry that your partner’s temper could make them become physically violent towards you at any time, this is a serious problem.
3. Trust that you can be vulnerable without being judged
People sometimes try to fight the urge to feel weak in front of others. When you’re around someone you love, this should be different. You should be able to meet each other’s emotional needs. When one boldly expresses themselves, they should trust that the other would be non-judgmental and make them feel valued. If you feel psychologically safe around each other, no one will be afraid to show their weak side or of being misunderstood. Emotional safety creates a safe haven in your relationship and strengthens the bond between you.
4. Trust that there’s honesty
In a healthy relationship, you should be able to trust that what your partner tells you is the truth. When you’re able to trust each other in this way, they don’t get suspicious or entertain doubts. Doubts are toxic to a relationship, especially when they are baseless. If your partner has never done anything to make you doubt what he says, learning to trust what he says will do a lot for your relationship. You can always know from his actions if they are honest or not.
5. Trust that there’s financial fidelity
A Harris poll conducted in 2018 found that 41% of American adults admit to deceiving their partners about money, and that’s a problem. Trusting each other on financial matters is something that might take time to build and can be really hard to do. Finances can cause a lot of problems if things go awry. Combining finances must be something to think carefully about. When you both can combine finances, or openly talk about it without fear that the other would take advantage of the situation, your trust advances to a deeper level.
6. Trust that you’re on the same page
It’s not enough to talk about how you feel for each other and what you both want in the relationship. You also have to believe that these feelings are true. When you begin to doubt that perhaps you’re not on the same page when it comes to how you feel about each other and what you want, it can break things down. You’ll hurt your partner and your relationship as a whole if you don’t believe how he feels about you, no matter how he sincerely tries to make you see it. This is the easiest way to lose a good guy.
7. Trust that you have one another’s best interest at heart
If you can’t trust that your partner wouldn’t intentionally hurt you and that they have your best interests at heart, why are you in a relationship in the first place? It makes no difference what kind of relationship you have defined for yourself. Do you constantly suspect that he is out to get you and plotting to derail your happiness or your progress? Overthinking his intentions and interpreting them negatively is a bad place to put your partner. Always look on the bright side. If you truly believe that he’s acting against your best interest, it’s probably time to break up.
8. Trust that you’ll be able to trust one another
Trust in a relationship takes time to build and solitify and it matures as the relationship grows older. Don’t expect to be able to completely trust your partner in all of these situations at once. It’s a slow and steady process, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you have one but not the other. Trust must be earned, and it’s easier to believe someone when their actions match their words. Some kinds of trust may feel too risky for you, but when it feels right to trust in that regard, you’ll know it’s time to go all-in for him.
