There’s nothing easy about calling it quits with someone you once loved.
At this point you have probably been seeing signs that things might not work out how you thought they would and probably, you’re thinking of ways you can finally communicate that you don’t want to be with them anymore.
It may sound selfish but there is absolutely nothing wrong with making decisions that are best for you.
In fact, it’s more dangerous to ignore red flags that you can sense or obviously see from the beginning because you’re putting your future at risk.
But before you finally break the news to your soon-to-be ex, it’s important to reflect on whether this is the best decision.
Go through this list of questions then decide what your next move is.
1. How long have you felt this way?
Thinking about this question will help you separate an emotional decision and a choice that genuinely reflects how you feel.
Take a moment to remember when you started feeling like you want out and if it’s very recent, maybe you need to think about it a bit longer. You will have a clearer perspective of whether there are many things that built up to this point or if you could be potentially making an impulsive decision.
2. Has someone else influenced your decision?
It is okay to open up to people you trust about your relationship concerns. You certainly don’t need to air out every detail to whoever but, if you’re in a serious situation that might even put your life at risk, you shouldn’t just keep quiet about it.
Abusive situations are in a category of their own though. If you’re not in a toxic relationship but you’re just thinking about leaving, you should be careful who you open up to and who you’re listening to because those opinions can strongly influence your final decision.
3. Are your concerns realistic?
You should also think about whether your reasons for wanting a break-up are actually real. Have you realized that there are certain traits that aren’t suitable for a long-term relationship or is your decision based on something petty like a forgotten birthday?
Listen, real relationships have their ups and downs and there’s no perfect partner. There are people who have regretted leaving a good relationship so this is something to think about.
4. Are you the problem?
It’s also important to be honest if you have some issues you need to work on. Sometimes people choose to find someone new because they easily get bored or they don’t realize they’re afraid of real commitment.
It’s going to be tough to admit some things but that’s part of building self-awareness.
5. Is the relationship worth fighting for?
The final thing after thinking about all this is whether you’re willing to give it another try. There are definitely some issues but are you willing to work on them with your partner?
This is your time to decide if the damage is already done or whether you have more energy left to make things work.
