Sometimes breakups come out of left field, and take a couple by surprise.
But other times, there are subtle changes that occur right before a breakup, usually in the form of small problems that lead to a lack of connection.
Of course, many relationships are meant to run their course, and come to an eventual end.
But if you’d like yours to last, spotting these changes before they escalate may help get it back on track.
Read on for a few red flags that may point to an impending breakup, according to experts.
1. Wanting to spend more time apart
While it’s perfectly fine and healthy to have your own life in a relationship, when a couple is on their way to a breakup, it’s common for one or both people to make their own plans, or leave each other behind.
This is often a sign that you’re growing apart, or simply don’t value each other the way you used to. If it’s a new development in the relationship, talking about it may be the first step in getting your spark back.
2. Arguments are becoming more frequent (and confusing)
As long as your arguments remain civil and healthy, they’re not necessarily something to worry about. But if your fights are happening more frequently — and feel confusing or cyclical — it may be a red flag.
Arguments are OK, but arguments that repeat themselves, that happen over and over with no resolution, become a toxic drain on the relationship.
3. They no longer want to argue
On the flip side, a relationship that’s free of arguments can be a sign of lack of investment. When that’s the case, it might feel like your partner is overly polite or even “cordial” with you — both of which can be a sign they’re checking out.
4. They seem happier around others
While it’s obviously fine for your partner to be happy around friends and family, take note if they perk up around them — but never quite give the same energy to your relationship.
You might notice that they are happy with them, and not with you. They move from emotionally connected to you, to emotionally neutral with you.
5. They’re making odd requests
If your partner asks you to change something about yourself, or the way you interact in the relationship, it might mean they know deep down that the relationship is almost over, and are making a last ditch effort to save it.
The thing is, since asking someone to change isn’t cool, you’ll want to find out why they’re coming out of the blue with odd requests, or why they think it’d be OK to ask for you to change.
6. They haven’t been showing love
If your relationship is struggling, you may notice that your partner has begun pulling back with the small, everyday gestures of love.
Early warning signs include not texting back, not saying “I love you,” and not giving a hug the moment you come home or see each other — all of which are signs of a lack of connection & intimacy.
7. They’re being weird about the future
If a breakup is on your partner’s mind, they may stop talking about “future plans like where you are going for the holidays or planning vacations.
While healthy couples don’t talk about the future 24/7, they certainly do talk about it — even if it’s just to discuss what they’d like to do next weekend.
8. They seem to be avoiding you
If the relationship is heading south, you might start to notice that your partner is frequently unavailable — maybe they want to hang out less often, leave for work earlier in the morning, or are slower to respond to texts.
And that’s because avoidance is often the only way folks can think to handle an unhealthy relationship. Prior to a breakup, couples may begin to avoid one another as much as possible.
