The end of a relationship is never fair on anyone. Men hurt, women hurt when the familiar feeling of happiness is suddenly snatched from them due to a breakup. Even when the breakup is expected, the grieving process often still plays out.
A study reported that men suffer more long-lasting pain from breakups than women. The question that naturally follows this is: why is this so? How and why are men hurting more when it is they who usually seem to move on from breakups faster and more painlessly?
Right there, is one of the reasons why men suffer – the unwillingness to face what happened and come to terms with the reality of it.
“Males grew up with the ‘men don’t cry’ attitude and while men may deal with things differently, it doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same pain and the same hurt as women. “So for generations, men have learnt to suppress this pain and hurt and ‘be a man’ which doesn’t allow much space for vulnerability.”
On the other hand, women are typically more comfortable finding a shoulder to cry on and letting it all out.
Women are often less dependent on their significant other for emotional support – they typically have a wider circle of friends and will confide to family in a way most men wouldn’t countenance.
That kind of explains why they come to grips with reality and find the real strength to genuinely close a chapter and move on to the next quicker.
Another reason why women don’t suffer as much as men after a breakup is because they do the breaking up more times than men.
Studies show that more women than men are the initiators of marriage break up today. What this means is that, women have more time to start processing the pain ahead. They begin to prepare early for the outcomes of splitting up from a partner. By the time they are done with that phase, the man may just be beginning his.
For men, therefore, it is important to begin to deal with breakups in more expressive, healthier ways as opposed to the ‘suck-it-all-up’ technique that is being used from way back.
