Being nice, selfless and likeable are all qualities that are praised.
From a young age, kids are taught to be kind to everyone even if it means sacrificing their own happiness.
There’s definitely nothing wrong with being pleasant but, there comes a time when you have to pause and check whether you’re doing too much.
When you notice that people treat and talk to you how they want to at work or in your relationships, there is a problem.
You need a balance in life for you to be happy as well because your feelings matter.
You don’t want to end up feeling exploited and that is why you should recognize the habits that are attracting disrespect from those around you:
1. You try hard to make everyone like you
There is no one who can really say that they love it when people don’t like them. Deep down there is a part of us that would want others to like and appreciate who we are.
Although we would want to always receive love, it’s not realistically possible. There are people who will dislike us regardless of how much we try to get into their good graces.
So, if you’ve been putting so much pressure on yourself to be ‘Mr. Nice guy’, you should change that. It drains you emotionally and it often doesn’t seem genuine and that could be why people have been treating you unpleasantly.
2. You feel guilty for saying ‘no’
Admittedly, saying no isn’t always the easiest thing to do. But for you to get and maintain respect from others, you have to be unapologetically honest when you’re unable to meet their demands.
This lets others know that they can’t always get what they need from you when they want to. Learn to say ‘no’ and don’t accept that lingering guilt. You can simply excuse yourself, but don’t start over-explaining your reasons.
3. You make excuses for others
Making excuses for disrespect often happens in romantic relationships. You can find that your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you openly or embarrasses you in front of others, but somehow you don’t see it for what it is.
A coping mechanism in this situation is making excuses to cover the person treating you awfully. The only way out is to decide that you will no longer make excuses and stop strongly defending someone who wouldn’t do the same.
4. You are always joking around
Being the funny guy isn’t a bad thing at all. But if you don’t know when to tone it down and be serious, people will disrespect you both intentionally or unintentionally.
You should learn how to balance your funny side with strong boundary setting. Once you do that others will differentiate when you’re joking and when you need to be taken seriously.
5. You don’t nurture your self-confidence
People who are targets of disrespect often struggle with self-esteem. The feeling of unworthiness causes them to allow any kind of treatment, which with time will end up damaging their confidence even more.
For you to command respect and feel unashamed about it, you will need to learn the strategies on how to increase your self-esteem.
